Chemo update.

I am far overdue in sending out an update on the latest so I'll give you a snapshot of the past couple of weeks.

Last weekend, Sept 24th and 25th I spent a wonderful weekend in Minneapolis where my really good-looking nephew Andrew and the lovely Emily got married. It was really nice fall-like weather with lots of warm sunshine on their outdoor wedding. It was great for me to get to see so many of my family members. I haven't seen most of them in a couple of years. With everything that's gone on this past year I really needed to see them. I realized when I was there how much they all needed to see me as well. You know that feeling of seeing someone who hasn't been well and how once you see them and "put your eyes on them" you know they are going to be OK. That's how it felt. Courtney also made the drive from Chicago to Minneapolis so I was able to see her as well. She hadn't had the opportunity to see her mom's bald head or fashionable wigs!

All of this wonderfulness did come at a price. I caught a cold when I got back to San Diego. Because I had a cold the chemo nurses wouldn't let me get my final chemo treatment last week! I tried to convince them that I would be fine. It turns out they weren't worried about me they were worried about me making the other chemo patients sick! Believe me, I called and begged for chemo. I'm sure they don't get that call everyday.

Anyway, chemo has been re-scheduled for this week Wednesday, October 5th. I CAN'T WAIT! I am so excited about getting this phase of treatment out of the way. As it turned out, I was home in bed part of last week trying to get over my cold. I was feeling pretty miserable and couldn't imagine dealing with the chemo issues as well. Darn those nurses - they are always right!

Right after my very last chemo this week is our Peregrine Breast Cancer Bake Sale. We started this event three years ago as a way of raising money for my friend Jessie who does the Breast Cancer 3-Day here in San Diego every year. Little did I every imagine three years ago that I too would be benefiting from this Bake Sale. This isn't just any bake sale. We usually raise about $1,200-$1,500. You see, there are a lot of men at my company and they all LOVE to eat. Our bake sale is not only bake goods but soups, sandwiches, lasagna, and other Asian dishes. The bake sale will be on Monday, October 10th. So many of the people I work with have commented to me how I put a face with the realities of breast cancer. I have to agree. I didn't in my wildest dreams ever think I would be dealing with breast cancer in my lifetime.

More updates to come AFTER MY LAST CHEMO!  Next it's surgery to put me back together again then radiation treatments.

Counting Down the Chemotherapy

Chemo # 4 is now completed with only two treatments left to go!! August 11th was my fourth treatment which I am sooo happy to get behind me. Being able to say I was halfway through was one thing but now I can actually count DOWN!

In an odd way, this treatment seemed to go better than most. I think it was more "mind over matter" that made me feel that way but I felt like I bounce back faster this time. The queasiness seems to be the hardest thing to get over. It's difficult sometime to know if I'm queasy from the chemo or if I'm hungry. If I think I might be hungry then I have to think about what sounds good and what won't make the heartburn start. As I've said before, it's a lot like having the flu.

This time during chemo I fell asleep in the big, leather, comfy recliner. They give me something to take the edge off before they start chemo. For some reason, this time it made me really tired. With about 30-45 minutes left in the treatment, I put my head back and I was out. When the nurse (Barb) woke me, she assured me there was no snoring!

As we left the chemo room, Jessie and I did a "high five" in the hallway! Four down and two to go!

Halfway Through Chemo!!!

I have another round of chemo done and I'm halfway through! I have 6 rounds to do and 3 behind me. I can't really say they have been easier or harder they've just been more chemo. :(

I learned something interesting this time. I usually get bad bone pain in the form of a nasty headache two days after chemo. The nurse told me to take Claritin for the bone pain. She couldn't explain why it worked only that she had heard it worked. She was right! I took Claritin Friday night and Saturday morning I work up with no headache. I still had the queasiness that goes along with chemo but the actual pain was greatly reduced.

I did have a moment of "can I go through this for three more treatments?" The nausea and generally feeling poorly had all caught up with me but then I don't like having a cold for more than 3 days! I decided I needed a nap and (as Jessie says) "a do over". That nap made all the difference. Never underestimate the power of a nap.

In summary, chemo on Thursday, queasy and achy Friday, Saturday, and Sunday then back to work on Monday. It doesn't get easier but it doesn't seem to get any worse either. It's just chemo!

Next chem (#4) will be August 11th.

Latest Update

I haven't done any updating recently because I've been back at work! After my first chemo I was out for the next 7 days. Following the last chemo treatment I was able to go back after 6 days. I've found that going back to work gets helps me to recover faster. I think it's having a routine and physically moving more helps me get my strength back sooner.

My next chemo will be on Thursday, July 21st and I'm ready. This one will get me to the halfway point - three down and three to go! I know now when I will have good and bad days and I can plan accordingly. Oddly enough, the day after chemo I usually feel pretty good, tired but good. It's two days after treatment that the side effects start in. Three and four days after chemo are usually the hardest. I would describe it as having a bad case of the flu for two days. Someone asked me the other day if I was just not telling her how bad I really feel! It's true, I really only have a couple of days of feel poorly and two to three days of being tired and worn out. I think chemotherapy treatment has come a long way!

I was in Las Vegas from June 24-29 for the National HR Convention. I had been planning to go to that conference for months and NOTHING was going to stop me! It was a great convention and my energy level was very good. We had some late nights so there were a few mornings where I wasn't up too early but don't think I had any chemo effects the entire time I was there.

I have lost all of my hair now. Once it started coming out it all came out. I have a few areas of hair stubble but it's pretty limited! I picked up my second wig last weekend. I like it more than the first, shorter wig! The new one looks very much like my old hair. Many people have been fooled by the wig and think it's my own hair - that's how good it is! Again, I'm very grateful to my co-workers at Peregrine who provided the funds for me to buy these two wonderful wigs. Being able to wear a wig helps me to feel a little more "normal".

I'll provide another update after my next chemo!

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Chemo - 2 Down / 4 To Go!

I've gotten a little behind on my blog but I do appreciate all of you who called to get updates on how I am doing!

I had my first chemo on June 6th. Because I have drug allergies I was instructed to take steroids the day before chemo to prevent any negative reaction. The morning of chemo I woke up at 3 a.m. and was ready to take on the world! I had an overwhelming urge to clean the kitchen floor, the mirrors in the bathrooms, and vacuum. Wow! Steroids are amazing! Once I got to chemo my energy turned to nervous anxiety.

I had a nice comfortable recliner to relax in while getting the chemo cocktail. My friend Jessie came along for entertainment AND she gives a great foot massage. The chemo treatment took about 4 hours.

After the first treatment I got terrible heartburn. Every attempt to sleep was met with more heartburn. I've since learned that Zantac and Maalox will calm the heartburn. Following treatment number 2 I was ready for the heartburn and took care of it very quickly. The biggest problem last time was not drinking enough water. About 2-3 days after treatment everything tastes bad including water. I've tried a little lemon or lime juice but I have to be careful with that or the heartburn comes back.

The next chemotherapy is July 21st. I'll work on perfecting my treatment of the side effects.

Wig Shopping Day Was AWESOME!!

Once I moved on from acceptance to action I made plans for a wig shopping day with my friend Sarah. Sarah is a pretty up-beat person and she had been pushing me for this wig shopping day. Finally in my best defeatist tone of voice I agreed to go.

The plan was to meet at her house then we would go to a place called "The Brighter Side". She had made me an appointment to meet with someone for a private fitting. The Brighter Side is in Solana Beach and specializes is all types of breast cancer survivor apparel, wigs, makeup, you name it! It was the perfect place for me.

To back up a minute, when I went to Sarah's house she presented me with this huge gift basket. She had emailed people at work asking for donations to put together a gift basket for me before I started chemo. Did I mention how awesome Sarah is? Well, the donations started coming in and coming in as you would expect from the wonderful people I work with at Peregrine. The gift basket included all of my favorite bath products, special lotions and cleanser that are helpful when your skin dries from chemo and radiation. The softest blanket I've ever felt, magazines, soft booties, and a little pink beanie that I will need to keep my head warm at night after I lose my hair. There were also some gift cards. I've been told that some of the possible burning sensations during chemo can be averted with ice of better yet Jamba Juice. There were two Jamba Juice gifts cards included. The most unbelievable part of this were the three $500 American Express gift cards! My co-workers wanted to pay for my hair!! These are the best people ever. They knew how I was dreading the hair loss that comes with chemo. So, when we went off to do our wig shopping the only problem I had was holding back the tears from the generosity of the wonderful people I work with!

P.S. I ended up buying two wigs and some head scarves. No, I didn't buy a blonde, red, long, or pink wig as were suggested to me. I stayed with a more conservative look!

Chemo Class - Can you believe they have such a thing?

Wednesday was my "chemo class" day at the oncologist's office. They do these classes weekly to get everyone informed at the same time about the do's and don'ts of chemo (and there are a lot of them!). There were four of us crowded into a small room with our "care giver" as they were called (spouse, friend, child). The nurse teaching the class as been in oncology for many years so she had an excellent background and was a wealth of information. We each received a packet of information about the chemo "cocktail" we were going to receive along with a lot of information on "when to call the doctor" and other informational pieces.

My chemtherapy will take 4 hours. Most treatments are about that long with some being longer. One gentleman in the group who appeared to be in his mid-forties, reminded me of my "little" brother Allen. This guy appeared to be a corporate guy who had a lot of things going on. (He showed up 10 minutes late.) His treatment will take 6 hours. You could see the frustration on his face when they told him this. His first question "can I bring my laptop?". He was pleased when he was told that he could. I stared at him for a minute in disbelief. I wanted to say "where are your priorities" and "how do you think you got here in the first place"? If his treatment takes 6 hours he has either a nastier type of cancer or it is in more advanced stages. It's funny how you look at things when you are on "this side". I'd like to think that Allen is a little more in touch with his priorities! He has 3 great kids and great kids don't happen accidentally.

If you enjoy reading things on Dr. Internet (WebMD) these are the three types of chemo I will be receiving: Cytoxan, Taxotere, and Adriamycin (aka the red devil - it seems to me that they should all have some catchy name like that since they are all very devilish on your system but Adriamycin is actually red in color).

Of the four people in the room I was the only one with breast cancer. I was actually a little surprised since it seems to effect so many people. My packet was also the thickest. I am certainly seeing the benefit of those Susan G. Koman fundraisers. I received so much information and helpful information about breast cancer. I like to know what I'm dealing with and how something like this can spread and all of the treatment options. It was great information. There are also so many resources available now online. Many very useful links were included in my packet of information.

The most difficult part of the class for me was when the instructor went around the room and pointed at each of us (except for one older gentleman who didn't have much hair anyway!) and said "you will lose your hair" and "you will lose your hair", and so on.

I guess I knew all along that there was a pretty good chance that if I had chemo I would lose my hair. I kept thinking of those well-meaning friends who would say to me that not everyone loses their hair. Well, that bubble was burst last week. I don't know why I can make a decision to have a double mastectomy so easily  (which, by the way, won't grow back) and be so devastated about losing my hair (which will grow back)!

There is so much about being diagnosed and treated for cancer that is emotional. I can manage the pain of the surgeries and work through the physical therapy to stretch my arms but dealing with the disfigurement of my body and hair loss isn't something that a pill can fix.

I took a day after my class and did something I'm not good at doing. I let myself grieve for what I've lost and for what I'm about to go through. Actually, it was really more of a self-pity day but it felt good. There hasn't been time or I haven't allowed myself time to go to the dark side and really feel what it is I'm going through. I knew I wouldn't like the dark side so I kept telling myself not to go there. I spent about a day reading, researching, and crying. I then had to tell myself that I'm into something that I can't control so I need to do what I have to and get through this. I've now been to the dark side and I came out on the other side! I'm ready to get started on chemo and get this next step behind me!